HW 32 - Thoughts following illness & dying unit

The question that I wanted to about talk about was, What might I do or address differently as a result of what you have learned this unit individually, and with your family? The dominant social practices in our culture usually involve a lot of family discussions, when it comes to illness and dying. Something that I might do differently, would be to expect any kind of family disscussion the second the sense of illness and dying kreep into our lives. For a very long time I have been listening to my parents, and following all of their rules. I'm not saying that I am going to stop, but from now on, i'm going to think a little more about what they are saying to me. The way I have addressed their statements have been as if I was under their control, and as if whatever they say is right, and whatever I say is wrong. Doing hw #30 allowed me to question my parents (for good purposes) and build myself to become more independent. So from what I have learned this unit, I will bring more thought towards other's ideas and feelings, and try to create a plan that will benefit myself, and them at the sametime.

HW 30 - Illness & Dying - Culminating Experiential Project

  The aspect of the dominant social practice that I decided to explore, was having interventions with friends and family. When my grandparents started getting really sick, my parents told me that they had to have a "talk" with me and my sister about it. At first I thought that we were getting in trouble, because we didn't visit them as often as we should, but then my mom told us that we had to visit them twice as much. She only said that because they were getting really sick, and she didn't know how much time they had left. This unit helped me understand what the dominant practices were, whenever someone in your family got sick. Now according to the lecture my parents gave me, I can add family discussions to that list.

  When I went on the internet, to find out more about teens relationships with their elders, I came across elder abuse. http://helpguide.org/mental/elder_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm
De Benedictis,Tina.Warning signs, Risk Factors, Prevention, and help.Segal, Jeanne.NY.2010
What the article said was that there are different types of elderly abuse. One kind that cought my eye, was neglecting the elderly. The way my parents described my lack of appreciation towards what my grandparents did for me all my life, sort of matched up with what I was reading in the article. It made me question if I really was neglecting my elders or not.

  The way that I explored during this process, was by listening to my parents, and going to see my grandparents when I was told to, and sometimes even taking the initiative to go on my own. I realized that my parents were wrong, I went up to them, and had a second intervention, discussing why I was not neglecting my grandparents, and actually showing them that I care. I never thought that I would have to be this independent when it came to family, but I showed my parents, my grandparents, and myself, that I am a responsible, appreciative, loving, independent grandson. I did enjoy what I did, because I pushed myself to do so, and in the process I learned how to be more responsible.

   In this exploration, I learned a little bit more about myself. I proved myself to many people that I am a "good" person. But most importantly, I proved to myself that I can go far beyond the person I actually am. This shows that the dominant practices in our culture when it comes to illness and dying, are expendable. You can basically start off a conversation with your family talking about why you should change, and why you need to be a "better" person. and then ending it by saying "your wrong, I am nice, and I do care, and if you don't believe me, i'll prove it to you."

  This matters, because you are observing yourself, and others around you. Finding our cultures dominant social practices help us shape our own, changing our lives for better or for worse.

HW 29 - Reading and noting basic materials

   Health care has been around for a long time. Not always the same way though. "The first inssurence company is believe to have appered during the colonial era."p.5-Cohn, Jonathan. SICK Horper Collins. NY.2007 That inssurence company was the start of a great life for many people around the world, and also the downfall for many around the world. During the 20th century, health inssurence was starting to become really popular, and it was what many were discussing about. A lot of people were very excited for what was to come, and how this new thing could bring happiness to millions of people. Almost everyone was interested in what it was, and how to get it.

   People wanted to know how to get it, and once they did know, everyone was happy, and excited to be soon getting something that they thought would always be the answer to sickness. A woman broke her ankle, and was taken to Baylors hospital, into the emergency room. She becam the first woman, and person, to utilize the NEW health care. "Hospital administators around the country copied the model, and improved on it from Baylors emergency room." p. 8-Cohn, Jonathan. SICK Horper Collins. NY.2007. This was real good information(aside from the broken ankle part). Since other hospital administrators found out what happened, they used that to their advantage, and built off of it. Blue cross was also built off of this.

   In our current culture, the ill and dying sometimes don't have a choice on what they should do, because sometimes they are not physically/mentally able to do so. That is why when someone is dying, usually their family comes in to see them, and the doctor will have to ask the family what to do about it, becase the sick person is unable to. It's kind of funny. Our culture gives the right for people to decide when and where someone is gonna die.

   With illness and dying, isolation vs. community is a big part. There was a part in Stigma, where someone was sick, and because of that, they were isolated from the people who were regular."Stigma refer to bodily signs designed to expose something unusual and bad about the moral status of the signifer. The signs were cut or burnt into the body and advertised that the bearer was a slave, a criminal, or a traitor."p.1- Goffman, Erving.STIGMA: notes on the management of spoiled identity. Preritice Hall.NJ.1963. Illness and dying back then did determine being isolated, or being put into a community. That being said, im guessing it must have stressful if anyone got sick. Imagine your mother or father getting sick, having to stay away from them, or maybe since they are your parents, you will have to stay with them. Then you will be an outcast also. Illness and dying has affected people for a long time mentally, physicall, and socially. From being labled as an outcast to having people deciding wheather you live or die, and deciding if you are no longer cut out for having health inssurence.

  

HW 18 - Health & Illness & Feasting

During my 2010 Thanksgiving break, my family and I ate a lot of food. Just like any other family, we all argue and fight for different reasons in different ways. Eating food somewhat calmed the fact that we were all angry at each other at one point, and switched to being happy with our stomachs full. During our feast, family members came over to my home, and we spent time together eating together. Sometimes I wonder why peoples personalities change when certain people are around. It is weird, but I know that for some reason it clears the atmosphere around us, and cuts the tension at times.

During our meal, we also watched a movie. It was one of the most exciting movies that came out in 2010, and it was a good choice at that moment. "The Expendables" was the movie we saw. Everyone was hooked to the movie, and they all including myself, were so glued to the movie. I saw the movie tons of times, and I agree with everyones addiction to the movie. For some reason that I don't know, the movie went well with our family gathering.

During the whole feast, there was never any lack of movement. Everyone was walking and talking, telling old hilarious family stories, and acknowledging the ones who weren't with us at the time. Once te movie started, everyone was different, and it was as if they were enslaved to the telovision. It was weird, but still kind of awesome at the same time. I was just happy that some of my family that was still alive, was there with me. The ones who were not, will always be remembered in some way. In a good, bad, funny, or crazy way, they will always be remembered.

HW 23 - Illness & Dying Book, Part 2

Book: Tuesday's with Morrie by Mitch Albom.
Publisher and year: Doubleday 1997

Precis: I am focusing on "The Third Tuesday We Talk About Regrets" chapter. Morrie wanted to have Mitch record what he was saying. He wanted someone to hear what he was saying, so that when he died, (and he knew that time was comming soon) someone would know what happened to him, and what he wanted to say to the world. He wasn't like others, because he reacted to the realism of death totally different from how other humans would.

"Mitch," he continued, softly now,  "you don't understand. I want to tell you about my life. I want to tell you before I can't tell you anymore" p.63 What Morrie was trying to do, wa encourage Mitch to listen to him, because he didn't know how much time he had left to live.

"We all need teachers in our lives, and mine was sitting in front of me." p.65 What Mitch said actually touched me, because it made so much sense. It was something that I have once thoght about in my life, and someone in a book was actually agreeing with me. It made me feel confident in expressing my thoughts, and knowing that there was someone else in the world who thought like me.

"He was standing on the tracks listening to death's locomotive whistle, and he was very clear about the important things in life." p.66 I liked this quote, because it showed how accepting Morrie was to his death. It's interesting and unique, because there aren't many people who are like that.

This third of the book was good. I think it really showed how illness and dying affected Morrie, Mitch, and outsiders. Morrie is so far accepting the fact that he doesn't have much time to live. the only request he has, is for Mitch to be there with him, and listen to his final words. Mitch on the other hand can't believe this is happenning to his former professor. Of course he feels bad, but at the same time, he has to let Morrie deal with his problem, and just be there for him. The outsiders. The people who "care" so much for Morrie. Most of them really don't care about Morrie, they just care that a dying man was on television, and he doesn't give a s**t. The ones who send letters,and notes to him are the ones who care. They share there own experiences with him when it comes to illness and dying,and he writes back, which keeps them interested, and attracted to him. 

HW 19 - Family Perspectives on Illness & Dying

   My mother was always considered the "kind" parent to me, but my dad was alright also. This is because she was raised to be a kind, generous, and a compassionate person. When it came to people dying, or love ones dying or being ill, she always wanted me to go visit them even if I didn't know them that well. She wanted me to visit them, and she also kept telling me to tell them "I love you (family member's name)". Sometimes when I didn't really want to go anywhere, she would say, "Fine. But when you get old, remember how you treated (family member's name)." And she would only say that, because her mother always used to tell her that, whenever my mother didn't want to go anywhere. So basically she developed that tactic from my grandmother, and is now using it against me, to make me feel guilty if I don't cooperate....

   My father was a nice person too, but he was always more strict. When he was a child, his prents usually weren't around. His father was in jail, and his mother died. The only person he had was his grandmother. Even though he had her, she never really looked after him like she was supposed to, so he ended up in a foster home. He was on his own his whole life, so he didn't have much time to show compassion for ill or dying people unless they were super close to him; literaly. He never tought me to feel as though if someone died it was the end of my life. There really wasn't much he could say when it came to that situation; so I did the same.

   My mother and father were definately raised differently. They are both nice and kind to me, but I can sense the difference in personalities. I didn't really know which parent I was going to side with the most, so I decided to adopt both of their ways of approaching that situation. Ever since I turned 14, I decided that whenever someone died I would feel bad, and show respect by visiting them, but at the same time I wouldn't think it was the end of the world.

HW 17 - First Thoughts on the Illness & Dying Unit

   Illness and dying is something that nobody really wants to go through, but is something everyone goes through. Illness my not be part of life, but dying is. I have been in many situations where I have experienced illness, but not yet experienced my own death. Family losses are part of life, even if that person isn't close to you, there is an obvious fact that you have lost someone.
 
   My parents try to comfort me as much as possible, well at least my mom does. My dad really doesn't care if I experience someone dying, my mom would rather "baby" me, and try to explain that it's just part of life. Like I don't know that already. Between them both giving me different types of feedback on how to approach this concept, I was able to develope my own approach to to this concept: Death is part of life, and so is illness. It happens to everyone at some point of their lives. Wheather it is at a young, mid, or old age.

   I know that my life is going to end at some point. I know that I will be ill at some point in my life; maybe more than once. That is what I am sure of. The only thing that I am unsure of, and that makes me nervous, is when. I don't know when this is going to happen. It sometimes freaks me out, because I don't know when my last day is going to be. If I did, I would be able to attempt whatever I wasn't able to fufill in life yet. It makes me wonder. What have I not yet completed in life? What have I completed in life? When will I die? What happens to you when you die? Where do you go when you die? Too many questions, and too many answeres.