HW 19 - Family Perspectives on Illness & Dying

   My mother was always considered the "kind" parent to me, but my dad was alright also. This is because she was raised to be a kind, generous, and a compassionate person. When it came to people dying, or love ones dying or being ill, she always wanted me to go visit them even if I didn't know them that well. She wanted me to visit them, and she also kept telling me to tell them "I love you (family member's name)". Sometimes when I didn't really want to go anywhere, she would say, "Fine. But when you get old, remember how you treated (family member's name)." And she would only say that, because her mother always used to tell her that, whenever my mother didn't want to go anywhere. So basically she developed that tactic from my grandmother, and is now using it against me, to make me feel guilty if I don't cooperate....

   My father was a nice person too, but he was always more strict. When he was a child, his prents usually weren't around. His father was in jail, and his mother died. The only person he had was his grandmother. Even though he had her, she never really looked after him like she was supposed to, so he ended up in a foster home. He was on his own his whole life, so he didn't have much time to show compassion for ill or dying people unless they were super close to him; literaly. He never tought me to feel as though if someone died it was the end of my life. There really wasn't much he could say when it came to that situation; so I did the same.

   My mother and father were definately raised differently. They are both nice and kind to me, but I can sense the difference in personalities. I didn't really know which parent I was going to side with the most, so I decided to adopt both of their ways of approaching that situation. Ever since I turned 14, I decided that whenever someone died I would feel bad, and show respect by visiting them, but at the same time I wouldn't think it was the end of the world.

HW 17 - First Thoughts on the Illness & Dying Unit

   Illness and dying is something that nobody really wants to go through, but is something everyone goes through. Illness my not be part of life, but dying is. I have been in many situations where I have experienced illness, but not yet experienced my own death. Family losses are part of life, even if that person isn't close to you, there is an obvious fact that you have lost someone.
 
   My parents try to comfort me as much as possible, well at least my mom does. My dad really doesn't care if I experience someone dying, my mom would rather "baby" me, and try to explain that it's just part of life. Like I don't know that already. Between them both giving me different types of feedback on how to approach this concept, I was able to develope my own approach to to this concept: Death is part of life, and so is illness. It happens to everyone at some point of their lives. Wheather it is at a young, mid, or old age.

   I know that my life is going to end at some point. I know that I will be ill at some point in my life; maybe more than once. That is what I am sure of. The only thing that I am unsure of, and that makes me nervous, is when. I don't know when this is going to happen. It sometimes freaks me out, because I don't know when my last day is going to be. If I did, I would be able to attempt whatever I wasn't able to fufill in life yet. It makes me wonder. What have I not yet completed in life? What have I completed in life? When will I die? What happens to you when you die? Where do you go when you die? Too many questions, and too many answeres.