HW 19 - Family Perspectives on Illness & Dying

   My mother was always considered the "kind" parent to me, but my dad was alright also. This is because she was raised to be a kind, generous, and a compassionate person. When it came to people dying, or love ones dying or being ill, she always wanted me to go visit them even if I didn't know them that well. She wanted me to visit them, and she also kept telling me to tell them "I love you (family member's name)". Sometimes when I didn't really want to go anywhere, she would say, "Fine. But when you get old, remember how you treated (family member's name)." And she would only say that, because her mother always used to tell her that, whenever my mother didn't want to go anywhere. So basically she developed that tactic from my grandmother, and is now using it against me, to make me feel guilty if I don't cooperate....

   My father was a nice person too, but he was always more strict. When he was a child, his prents usually weren't around. His father was in jail, and his mother died. The only person he had was his grandmother. Even though he had her, she never really looked after him like she was supposed to, so he ended up in a foster home. He was on his own his whole life, so he didn't have much time to show compassion for ill or dying people unless they were super close to him; literaly. He never tought me to feel as though if someone died it was the end of my life. There really wasn't much he could say when it came to that situation; so I did the same.

   My mother and father were definately raised differently. They are both nice and kind to me, but I can sense the difference in personalities. I didn't really know which parent I was going to side with the most, so I decided to adopt both of their ways of approaching that situation. Ever since I turned 14, I decided that whenever someone died I would feel bad, and show respect by visiting them, but at the same time I wouldn't think it was the end of the world.